Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Weekly 7 Rough Draft

The Roman Empire had reigned for many years and was one of the greatest and powerful empires to ever come about. This great empire ruled all of present day Europe and even stretched into North Africa and parts of the Middle East. They had strong warriors and a stretch of natural-born emperors that led Rome in their glory days. But then came the decline. The emperors after the Julio-Claudian Dynasty did a poor job of seizing control in the empire and this lead to much conflict within the empire. Numerous fights began to break out within the empire and the tension was building throughout. The future was not looking bright for the empire as a whole. The Roman Empire itself fell from a lack of a great leader and the glory days of Rome were long-lost memories, making the empire collapse in the end; Rome though did evolve into something new from disaster within the empire and they changed into a different kind of empire.

Rome’s collapse can be credited towards the several emperors who did a very minimal job at sustaining control for the whole empire. “During the third century Rome suffered from a cycle of near-constant conflict. A total of 22 emperors took the throne, many of them meeting violent ends at the hands of the same soldiers who had propelled them to power” (History Channel Website). This quote mentions that over 20 emperors served as leader during the 200s, meaning that many terms that these emperors ruled for were very short. This shows that these emperors were very inconsistent and they were often booted out of office in a very short amount of time. Also, many of the fights and wars that came about can be credited towards the emperors and their soldiers fighting violently. During this time, many emperors showed violence towards their armies, causing fights that had long-lasting effects on the future for leaders of Rome.

Rome’s fall can also be blamed from several attacks from barbaric tribes that surrounded the Roman Empire. “Financial pressures, urban decline, underpaid troops and consequently overstretched frontiers - all of these finally caused the collapse of the western empire under waves of barbarian incursions in the early fifth century AD” (The British Museum). After Rome was divided into the Eastern Empire and the Western empire, the Western side started to collapse. Many soldiers and troops in the Western Empire were not getting paid enough and the line separating the western side from the rest of the world was going too far for this financially corrupted half to handle. These issues caused hardship for the Western Empire and then the barbaric attacks from the outside completely demolished this side as a whole. While the Eastern Empire survived and overcame these attacks, the Western side was practically gone from already past effects that chipped away at the glory of this empire.

The Roman Empire practically came to an end when they were threatened by Attila and his Huns along with the Germanic tribe. “Attila and his brutal Huns invaded Gaul and Italy around 450, further shaking the foundations of the empire. In September 476, a Germanic prince named Odovacar won control of the Roman army in Italy” (History Channel Website). The once great empire of Rome closed on a bad note as they were invaded by Attila and his ferocious Huns army. The empire by this time was now on its last legs and they were taken over by ferocious warriors that the army of Rome could not handle. To make it worse, Rome was then finally taken over when the Germanic tribes, under the leader of Odovacar, won control of the whole Roman Empire situated in Italy. This marked the final ending for the Romans, for they had no opportunity to rebuild for the future.

The Roman Empire collapsed from many different reasons that all tied in together to summarize the fall of Rome. The inability to find a good leader was the most important, with each emperor showing the inability to win back the glory days of Rome and falling down the stretch. Money was also a big issue, with many soldiers being underpaid and eventually choosing to quit their duties of being fierce warriors in a once strong army. Rome also collapsed from violence and wars within the empire, which corrupted their society as a whole. This empire lost faith in its armies but especially their leaders. As a whole, the Roman Empire declined and completely fell in ranks as a great empire, from strongest to weakest. 

APA Bibliography

Ancient Rome, (2011). In Decline and Disintegration. Retrieved Apr. 12, 2011, from

The British Museum, (2010). In The Roman Empire. Retrieved Apr. 12, 2011, from

           

3 comments:

  1. 1. Yes
    2. The thesis statement is clear anf I can see what side you are on.
    3. Yes
    4. Yes, all of the quotes and analysis back up your thesis statement.
    5. Yes, the conclusion ended the essay well.
    6. Yes, the strongest evidence is in the fourth paragraph.
    7. There are no personal pronouns in this essay.
    8. The academic tone is correct.
    9. There are no generalizations.
    10. There is no unneeded information.
    11. This essay was very well written, and you made your point very clear.

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  2. 1. Yes all 5 paragraphs have at least 5 sentences.
    2. good thesis
    3. yes has quotes in body paragraphs.
    4. has 4 sentences of analysis
    5. good conclusion summarizing the paper
    6. I believe that your strongest evidence is in paragraph 4
    7. no first or second person pronouns
    8. yes this is very academic
    9. not generalized
    10. good amount of quotes 1 per paragraph
    11. i think this is your honest opinion

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  3. Reviewers: Please be more specific in your critiques. Give examples directly from the rough draft to back up what you are saying. Makes it more helpful to the writer.

    ReplyDelete